it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
