He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
