I heard we made out
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize