did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize