hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
