Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
