Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
