Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
