i already hear my dad disowning me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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