We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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