Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
