Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
