Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
even my farts smell like vagina
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
