Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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