hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
