genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
