the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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