I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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