gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My vagina just recognized that song.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
