No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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