guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
