You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
