and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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