no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
