no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
