47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
