After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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