im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
