I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
