He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize