so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
