You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
