but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
