You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
