i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
