I just cut my nipple shaving
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
