youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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