That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
