i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
