so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
