Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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