Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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