My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
