Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
