If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
