Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
