Are we in a gay sports bar?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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