ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
