There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
