Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i would punch a child for taco bell
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
