hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
