she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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