Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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