Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
