have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
