My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Congratulations! We have a period
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
