you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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