saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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