do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
