phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
