we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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