This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
