I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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